Unfamiliar Territory & Insecurities

I live on a boat. A big enough boat that there’s space for 2 comfortably. We can each have our alone time and that’s important to both of us. We recently got our bathrooms (yes…plural) fully functioning and it’s beginning to feel more like a home than a boat, but this unfamiliar lifestyle has brought up a lot of my insecurities. The biggest one…thinking I have to know it all and do it all, alone. 

It’s a familiar tome for me. When things get difficult, I begin to feel anxious that I’m going to have to ‘deal’ with whatever the situation is. All. On. My. Own.

I feel my body tense, and my brain goes into overdrive trying to figure out what to do next and how bad that might be. I forget I have a partner with whom I share life…and that includes challenging situations. 

So much of my life is unfamiliar right now – and our human brains crave familiarity – that I am often finding myself feeling anxious about living here. Funny because unfamiliarity – adventure – is exactly what I asked for in my life and it’s what I’ve manifested. 

I often think that’s exactly why I choose adventure. I think it’s why many of us want new experiences, even if we don’t actually have them. It’s so we can move beyond our fears to a place of greater expansion and self-confidence. In our mind’s eye, we can sense a different version of ourselves – a bolder, braver, freer version. But the brain keeps most people from actually taking the leap. 

Consider that life is experience. Period. That we are here for the experience of living and we’re not really living when we stay in the comfort zone. Actually the only thing that grows there is regret. 

So much of the past month has been unpredictable and yet, here I am – here we are – totally okay. When I stop trying to control and predict and allow life to unfold, it’s freaking awesome. 

One of my favorite affirmation is this: “This is happening for me. There are greater possibilities unfolding.” If it’s possible to wear out an affirmation, I may have…I use it daily. 

🙃 When we had to stay 2 extra weeks in Quincy and pay a whopping $400 a week for slip rental…

🙃 When we had to turn back the first time we tried to bring the boat home because an engine quit…

🙃 When we had to rebuild an engine in order to get home…

🙃 When we worked through the night so we could leave the next morning…

🙃 When we were buying antifreeze for the engines at 2 am – a crazy story for another time…

🙃When we hit with heavy winds and surf on the second attempt home and had to find a sheltered cove to spend the night…

All new and unfamiliar experiences – all adventures in boat living – all happening for me (us).

Each of these situations brought my insecurities about money, time, and even about adventure to the surface. There’s part of me that worries about money. A part of me that is diligent about time. A part of me that wants adventure and a part of me that is like, “WTF can’t we just sit home and eat chips?!?!”. It’s important to make all of these parts welcome. None of them are wrong and all of them belong to me.

As I work with my feelings, with each fear, with each part of me, I find the solid ground of trusting my self – my true Self. The part of me that knows everything is always okay. There’s nothing wrong here. The part of me that trust myself. In trusting myself more, I trust my partner more and more, trust life more and more, and allow myself to be vulnerable – sharing the experience, the angsts, the fears, and the joy of navigating this adventure we call life.

I know how challenging it can be to let yourself have new adventures. I spent a lot of my life avoiding them, afraid I couldn’t handle them. But I was wrong.

If you’re avoiding what you really want to experience in life – if you’re keeping yourself in the comfort zone – remember, the only thing that grows there is regret. You’ll never regret having tried though.

What’s the adventure you’d love to have? What’s one tiny step you can take today in that direction? How can I support you on the journey? Book a call with me to find out more.

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