The pursuit of happiness. In the U.S., and perhaps elsewhere, the very idea is built into our constitution. It’s in our DNA. An inalienable right that’s given to all people (at least on paper). Most people are chasing happiness, and we think it’s out there somewhere because we’ve been raised to believe that how we feel is caused by the outside world. In truth, nothing outside of you can make you happy. Nothing. What if you stop the relentless pursuit of happiness and come alive instead? This is the magic hidden inside the messy middle of life.

First, no one can be happy all the time. You’re not supposed to be. You’re an emotional being here to experience the full range of human emotions, and some of them feel unbearable at times. When someone close to you dies you feel a deep sense of loss and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Right? Within the grief is a heightened sense of aliveness. You know you’re alive because you feel deeply. This is the paradox of growth. It’s a painful and beautiful process. Midlife, with all its messy emotions, is a powerful period of growth and transformation.

Feelings and emotions (the same to me) are your inner guidance system. Your personal GPS. They’re not good or bad, positive or negative, right or wrong. Feelings are information provided through our bodies so we can navigate life, making decisions and choices. No one and nothing outside of you can make you feel anything.

Feelings are your body’s response to what you think about any given situation or circumstance. You’re 100% in charge of what you think and feel. Most of us have been taught not to feel, to blame others for our feelings, or to dismiss uncomfortable feelings altogether. Not allowing your feelings is a recipe for getting lost in your own life. Imagine using the GPS in your car and ignoring half the directions? Only turning right even when it tells you to turn left? Would you feel a bit confused and lost?

In the pursuit of happiness, it seems most of us are really chasing safety, security, consistency, and comfort. In a word, mediocrity. This isn’t surprising because the brain has evolved to keep us safe and comfortable. It throws thousands of thoughts at you to keep you from feeling any discomfort. The discomfort of midlife, the restlessness, and questioning, are here to shake things up and help you return to your authentic Self.

This is your time to flourish…to do more of what makes you come alive. To welcome, accept, and embrace all of yourself, especially the discomfort, and fearlessly step into the power, beauty, and wisdom of who you are becoming. The magic of midlife is within you.

I believe in you and the power of your dreams, and I’m here to help.

You can download this helpful practice and start allowing your feelings. You can schedule time with me to explore this in-depth here.

From my heart to yours,