Love Letter #88: The Sacred Role of Anger

On this rainy day, I am contemplating a question that many of us, especially women, often shy away from: Do I allow myself to feel and process anger? Society has conditioned me to believe that anger is a negative emotion, something to be suppressed and avoided. 

Even though I know all emotions, including anger, have their value and purpose, anger can still feel challenging. 

Imagine feeling anger towards someone close to you. How would you handle it? How would you allow it to move through you? I’m realizing that anger plays a sacred role in my personal growth and expansion. Anger is a transformative emotion if approached with curiosity rather than fear or judgment. 

I want to share a personal story about my recent experience with anger.

Not too long ago, I felt angry about something someone did. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say it felt inappropriate and insensitive to me.

Interestingly, I was listening to “The Courage to Be Disliked” on my library app at the same time. The book suggests that people often choose anger to achieve a specific goal. This revelation was mind-blowing for me, especially considering my current situation.

“I am choosing anger to achieve a goal?” I thought. “But what is the goal?”

Over time, I’ve come to understand two important things about anger. First, I need to allow myself to feel it when it arises. It’s energy wanting to move through my body. Second, I shouldn’t act on it until I’ve processed it fully.

I acknowledge that it can be challenging to feel uncomfortable emotions like anger. There was a time when I was afraid of anger, especially my own. However, my perspective has shifted over time. I decided to confide in a trusted friend, sharing my experience and seeking their thoughts as I continued to contemplate the sacred role or goal of the anger I was feeling.

As I delved deeper into my feelings, I began to see the sacred role of anger in my situation. I realized that it was a reflection of something within myself. I understood the importance of compassion for both myself and the other person involved, as well as the need for clear boundaries. I felt that I had let myself down in some way, not from a place of self-criticism but from a perspective of love and understanding.

I’ve learned to embrace anger as a valuable emotion that can lead to personal growth and self-discovery when approached with mindfulness and compassion. By allowing myself to feel and process my anger, I’ve gained valuable insights into myself and my relationships, ultimately leading to greater understanding, compassion, and self-approval.

With love,

Does anger freak you out? Let’s talk.

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