Love Letter #87: Courage and Change…

…How to Life Your Fullest Life

I am listening to the audiobook “The Courage to be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Famitake Koga and wow! I love this, and so much of this book speaks to my spiritual philosophy and how I coach, still, there are several things that are blowing my mind (more on those in future love letters). 

The book is based on Adlerian Psychology and is based on three principles; 1) People can change, 2) the world is simple, and 3) everyone can be happy.

Adlerian Psychology is a psychology of courage. The courage to change. 

Most people want to change. We wish we were smarter, richer, more of something we desire or less of something we don’t want. This is human nature to want to express ourselves. To want to grow. 

But most of us, most of the time, choose to stay where we are. Or we’re waiting for some external event to happen before we become what we desire. We think we’ll change when we have more time, more money, more confidence…etc. 

Or we limit ourselves by our past experiences or upbringing. I am this way because of past trauma or experiences and so I can’t become what I want. 

But nothing in our past dictates our present or future. Life is happening now and now is your point of power, or choice. You are always determining your life. 

“We are not determined by our experiences but the meaning we give them is self-determining.”  

The Courage to be Disliked

BOOM!  This is everything.

The only thing that keeps us from being who we desire to be is the choice we make not to change because change takes courage, and courage is risky. We risk feeling a failure, rejection, or more importantly success. 

Because when we live in our limiting stores we know what our life is, who we are, and what to expect. But when we dare to\ change we step into the unknown, the unfamiliar, the uncertain. This can be very dis-regulating for most humans; especially if they have been living in survival mode (which I believe most of us are). 

Nevertheless, people can change. Everyone can change and be happy in this life if they are willing to step forward with courage, one step at a time and become who they desire to be. 

For me, this has become the adventure of life. I didn’t always believe people could change, but things changed, and I began to realize that the only person who can change my life is me. 

This is the adventure I lead others on for themselves. One step at a time, all while learning to regulate our nervous systems so that we can continue to take the next step and the next. 

If you’re truly seeking to change your life and don’t think it’s possible, I invite you to think about the story you are telling, and living. Ask yourself, “Why am I choosing not to change?”. 

I know you have the courage to be whomever you choose to be…otherwise you wouldn’t have the desire to be so. 


If you think you need clarity, you don’t.

If you think you need more time, more energy, more love, more confidence, more money, more of anything…you don’t. 

What you need is the courage to take the first step. And, I’m here to run beside you until your kite is in the air. 

With love,

Are you a spiritual woman over 40 feeling and your desires are still waiting to be realized? You’re not alone. It’s never too late to embrace your spiritual path and manifest your dreams. Book a call today…together let’s embark on a transformative journey to discover renewed purpose, spiritual growth, and authentic self-expression.

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