Love Letter #62: Lovability is Your Ability to Love

As you might have guessed, the practice of letter writing is, for me, a healing practice. I use letter writing as a way of forgiveness, affirmation, and as a way to transmute hurt, fear, or anger. 

It helps me reframe the past, and see my life with new eyes, and greater compassion for myself at every age. More self-compassion allows greater compassion for others. This in itself is healing. 

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my younger self and how I came to be the woman I am today. 

I thought about writing to my nine-year-old self, my seventeen year-old self, and my twenty-something self, because all of these versions of me still live within me. While each letter is different based on my experiences at each age, there is an underpinning theme. That is, to trust yourself. 

So today, in this open letter to my younger self, I invite you to craft your own love letter to your younger self. What would you say to her?

Dear young Elaine,

I have been thinking about you lately, and I’d like you to know that you can trust yourself.

When something feels off. Trust that it is.

It’s completely okay to leave situations that make you feel uncomfortable, guarded, or unsafe even in tiny ways. This feeling of discomfort is your inner wise self pulling you towards your higher good.

I know you’ve been in many situations where that discomfort has caused you to question yourself, doubt yourself, and second guess yourself. But there is nothing more important than listening to and leaning into the discomfort to hear the wisdom of your body.  

I know no one taught you this. So much of your life, up until now, has been listening to others, many of whom don’t really want you to speak your truth or be yourself. It’s not because you aren’t worthy of that. It really because it challenges all the ways they have not been allowed or allowed themselves to be exactly who they are. It was never about you.

So, my love, be yourself and trust that is who you are meant to be in this lifetime. Know that it is safe to show up in all your magnificent colors and quirks, your eccentricities and peculiarities.. That the language of your life is your very own. You get to speak it, own it, become it. And if you always speak it with kindness and love, you cannot go wrong.

Know that no one else can decide who you become, only you can do that. Contrary to what you’ve been told, it isn’t your job to make others comfortable so they like you. Can you feel the weight of that lifting off your shoulders?

You are Love. You are loved. You are lovable. In fact, your lovability has nothing to do with anyone else. It is simply your ability to love and loving is a choice you make. No one can take that away from you.

Loving means being yourself completely. Stepping boldly into your life, so that you can shine brightly. In doing so, you give others permission to do the same. But you can’t make anyone want that. It’s entirely up to them. And you can still love them. This was such a powerful lesson for me to learn.

I know now, how amazing you are. I know that who you are becoming is even more capable, more loving, more open and receptive to the beauty and mystery of life.

I want to thank you for always doing your absolute best. It is through the life you have lived that I can truly embrace who I am now and allow myself to lean into what wants to emerge next.

You have always been the love of my life and I am so very grateful for the life we are living.

With Love,

Curious about letter writing as a self-care practice…download my free guide!

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