Love Letter #42: Mourning the Old You

This love letter is about breaking old patterns. It can feel chaotic when we do and I’m right in the thick of it!

This journey of breaking old patterns often presents unexpected emotions. It feels like peeling off layers of myself that have been tightly wound for years, sometimes leaving me feeling exposed and sensitive. 

Even though I know I am evolving and becoming a more authentic version of me, the discomfort of change can be unsettling. It’s a peculiar ache that accompanies shedding familiar yet toxic behaviors and almost feels like I’m grieving the person I used to be as I let go of these old patterns. 

Although my mind recognizes the destructive nature of it, my old way of responding is embedded in my body, and that has left me feeling irritable, with a lingering discomfort that tugs on the edges of my sensibility.

In the past, feeling this way would have pushed me back into the old patterns, making me question my actions. I’ve learned these deep-rooted patterns can cause a disconnect between the mind and body during the change process. There’s nothing wrong here.

This is often the moment when a client feels she’s unable to continue with coaching.

It’s crucial in these moments to remember that feeling stuck or uncertain is a natural part of the growth process and presents an opportunity to explore these feelings further and uncover the underlying beliefs and fears that may hold you back. It’s a chance to discover new ways of thinking and being. 

It’s a misnomer to think that changing old patterns should feel- oh, so joyful. Sometimes it does, and other times not so much. 

It’s in these moments that it’s so tempting to revert to familiar ways of coping, to seek solace in the very behaviors I’m trying to leave behind. Yet, I have come to understand that true transformation lies in embracing this discomfort, in allowing myself to sit with the unease and trust that it’s a necessary part of the process. 

Listen, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. 

It’s a sign that you are moving outside your comfort zone, which is where real transformation happens. 

Embracing the discomfort and trusting the process will allow you the space to grow. You are capable of more than you know, and you have the strength within to continue moving forward. 

If you find yourself changing your behavior and feeling lost, remember, the mourning is not for the person you were but for the illusion you held onto for so long. Through this mourning, we make way for a more authentic self to emerge.

Through this mourning, we pave the way for a more authentic version our ourselves to emerge.

With love

Hey my friend…feeling stuck in the change process…I can help. 

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