Love Letter #34: Partnership & Pet Peeves

 The sun came out today. After a few weeks of rain and gray skies, that in itself is a love letter. There was a lot of blue sky and we had a gorgeous sunset off the back of the boat.

I wanted to talk about partnership for a moment. As many of you know I live with my partner Brian. We entered into this relationship knowing that we are both committed to personal and spiritual growth. So, we fully expect that old stuff will come up that we’ll have to work through if we are both committed to this relationship. 

We started to talk about pet peeves in the past few days. 

Today, I shared one of mine – clutter. We live in a small space with limited storage so, often, stuff gets piled up here and there. I can only let it sit for so long before it begins to wear on me. I’d been telling myself that it didn’t matter to him as much as it does to me. 

As we talked about it, it became clear that this is just a story I have. It isn’t true. But something else came up for me that was more significant. 

I began to see an old belief that I have to take care of this and figure it all out…by myself. 

Now, I see where some of this came from. As a kid, I had to do everything and figure out everything for myself. Asking for help became a scary place. Most of the time when I ask questions, I get asked, “why do you want to know that?”…instead of guidance or support. 

I always felt embarrassed even ashamed for asking, so I stopped asking. 

But, I’m not a kid anymore, so it’s time to peel away another layer of beliefs that aren’t serving me. 

This was an eye opening moment, realizing I’d been playing the martyr…that I had to take this all on myself. And, I didn’t realize I was doing it until we gave each other permission to get into our pet peeves. 

The funny thing is it all feels so much lighter now that I recognize that my frustration was far less about the stuff and way more about how I was thinking about it. I still want my home to be tidy, and I can also ask for help. 

With Love,

Doyou ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut, held back by invisible chains? It’s time to break free. Let’s Talk.

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