Love Letter #33: One Day at a Time

I’m heading to an Imbolc ceremony this evening. It’s the halfway point between winter solstice and spring equinox. Winter is still around, but it’s the time in the season where, beneath the earth, new life is beginning. When out walking this morning Gracie, the light was different, it felt like we’re heading into spring, and it was warm enough that I could smell the damp earth. I love that…it brings me right back into the garden.

Spring will arrive the way everything comes into being – one day at a time.

We learn to do everything one day, one step at a time. When we learn to walk, we try, fall down, and try again. Walking becomes running the more we do it. I remember learning to ride a bike. My father held onto the back of my seat while I wobbled along on training wheels. Then eventually without them. Before too long I was riding a “big girl” bike with no hands. One day at a time.

As adults, I think we tend to believe our dreams and goals are so much bigger than our kid ones were, that we easily give up. We’ve quit learning and being fascinated with our ability to take a step, fall down, and get up again. We’ve decided we should know how to do everything and our dreams should come easily. If we don’t, we make it mean something about us. We’ve failed. We’re not capable. We don’t have what it takes.

I was at lunch with a dear friend today when she asked if I could really write a year of love letters. Yes, I can…this is day 33, was my reply.

I believe we all have dreams. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

We are meant to have dreams, to follow them, to create experiences for ourselves, and become the most fully expressed versions of ourselves while we’re here. We do that one step at a time. One day at a time. One moment. One decision. Just one thing at a time.

There’s a wonderful practice I learned from Dan Sullivan, The Strategic Coach, called The Gap and The Gain.

One of the biggest reasons we give up on our dreams is because we’re stuck in the gap. The gap is the distance between where I am right now and the dream or goal I want to reach. So, using these love letters as my goal, I have 366 more to go. That feels like a big number. We’re in the gap when we’re thinking we have a long way to go, this is hard, I don’t know how I’ll get there…

But focusing on the gain is to stay focused on how far I’ve come. So, while it’s true I have 366 more to go, I can choose to focus on this being #33. I am that much closer to reaching this goal.

You and I get to choose which of these stories we tell, which part of this experience we want to give our attention to. I have to tell you, it feels a whole lot better focusing on what I’ve gained instead of the gap. And, I’ll close that gap one letter at a time, just as I did these first 33. 

Pursuing a dream or goal that feels big? Try putting your attention on the gain and take one day at a time.

With love,

Learning to stay in the gain often means taking your hands off the wheel and letting go of control. I know how anxiety inducing that can be. That’s why I hire coaches…and why I am here for you!

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