Love Letter #120: How to Dance with Uncertainty
This morning, in Curated Conversations with Jamie Chapman, we had our final conversation on the essence of “meaning”. As we delved into the depths of this topic I realized there’s still a lot to unpack. I scribbled a page of notes as quickly as I could in attempt to decipher my thoughts.
Today’s love letter is a reflection of the musings swirling with me and there are far more questions than answers.
First, meaning is a tool to sift through my experiences, beliefs, and what I think I know. But I started to wonder what would a life devoid of meaning would look like. Who would I be without the exchange of meaning? Would I cease to exist? In the absence of connection and shared understanding, are we really here?
Recently, I’ve had a significant shift stirred within me, nudging me forward on my path in a new way in both identity and purpose. I was struck with inspiration in the early dawn of Sunday morning. Inspiration that feels completely aligned with my present self and the person I aspire to become.
Despite this clarity, I notice my thoughts turning to doubt. My brain doing it’s part to keep me safe and alive. It was focused on how quickly this inspiration flooded in. I found myself thinking – “It’s happening too fast, too quickly. I should take more time before I take action. Think about it more. Be sure. Sit with it. Allow it to incubate.”
This is how we dance with uncertainty; by allowing it to be here without judgment, and follow our intuition all the same.
The truth is, life is uncertain and there is always uncertainty until you take the first step. My inner guide knows there is nothing to wait for. I’m not aging wine or cheese…I’m living my life.
Rethinking intuition – mulling, overthinking, and ruminating – blocks what wants to emerge here and now. The need for clarity often obstructs the path to authenticity. When we can let go of the fear of being imperfect, let go of the underlying perfectionism that is so baked into our bodies and our lives, we can discover an imperfect yet profoundly fulfilling life!
At least, this is the meaning I choose to make of the dance with uncertainty. Uncertainty is always going to be there, yet this moment will not.
When I stop trying to perfect my life, to be certain of the timing, the place, and the words, I allow for the unfoldment of a truly authentic life.
What I know is this feels vital, alive, playful, and purposeful. It’s also unsettling and there is some curiosity and intrigue around leaning into uncharted waters. All of this, for me, are indicators that this is a thread I must follow regardless of the uncertainty.
And, I get to tailor the meaning I give it to what serves me most in this moment. So do you. It’s only in the present moment that we can do anything, including making meaning.
Yes, my brain wonders what others will think. But the meaning anyone else makes is beyond my grasp and totally okay.
All this to say, meaning is arbitrary. Nothing is certain. Everything is a risk. There is no right or wrong. No good or bad. Simply the meaning we choose to make in the moment, and that dear friend, can always be changed.
With love,
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