Last week I sent out my newsletter without the link to the full blog post. Not once. Twice. Well, that was embarrassing. You may not have noticed. I, on the other hand, had a little meltdown, a few minutes of panic. I know this old pattern of reacting then berating myself for making a mistake quite well. Of going down a rabbit hole of thinking about how inept I am, and worrying about what everyone will think of this. Oh, the drama! There was a time when I would get so caught up in this sad old story that I would abandon things I really wanted for the comfort of remaining small. And, I did it a lot.

I’ve always had a strong desire to serve others in a way that helps them change or enhance their lives yet I allowed fear to stop me short. I once completed hairdresser school but never got my license. Then, I got my real estate license and quit after my first sale. Seriously, I quit right when I started making money. It was a challenge to balance the job with small children but the real reason was fear. There have been many other things too.

Why is this important. Maybe it isn’t, but maybe you too find ways to keep yourself from doing the things that are calling from your soul. Maybe, just maybe, you have patterns of abandoning your deepest desires, making excuses for not continuing to pursue what lights you up. We all have stories we tell ourselves about why we can’t do or be something that keep us small. Staying small, while it may feel safe, robs us of our joy and robs the world of our gifts – our personal magic.

“If you keep telling the same, sad, small story, you will keep living the same, sad, small life,” ~Jean Houston 

Most of our fears are simply fear of the unknown, all the things we think could go wrong. And often there is an underlying fear of success. The very idea of not knowing what we’ll do when we succeed can stop us in our tracks. I was a master at abandoning what I wanted in life, until I found life coaching. I work with a coach regularly who helps me to shift my thinking, and see more clearly what’s in the way and remove it. Oh, the newsletter thing is still embarrassing, and I can see the bigger picture more clearly now and stay committed to my dreams, my work, and myself.

There are still days when I wonder if I can do something. Times when I get tripped up by my lizard brain and it’s old patterns of thinking. Like, when I sent the newsletter twice without the link. I gave everyone a ticket to the show but didn’t let them in the door..sigh. Instead of getting wrapped up in the old story and running the other way, I decided to run right towards this little blunder. I put it aside until it was time to write this next blog. And of course, that blog, This is Not My Parent’s Midlife, is still there for you to read. There is tremendous freedom in letting go of the old stories and patterns and creating new, more empowering ones.

I’m curious to know, what’s your story? Are you ready to change it? Let’s talk about how.

From my heart to yours,
Elaine

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