Love Letter #50: Are You About It or With It?

This morning, I woke up thinking about the difference between doing something about a situation, and being with a situation. 

While they may seem similar, the mindset and approach one chooses can be surprisingly different. 

When we have a situation in life, especially those that feel challenging or hard, the immediate impulse is often to do something “about” it. We feel compelled to change or improve the circumstances. We want to solve the problem or come up with a plan. 

In our humanness, we can feel powerless, so we attempt to influence external events, believing we know what should happen and strive to shape the outcome. Sound familiar? 

Being “with” a situation is very different. It involves accepting and embracing the present situation without trying to change it. Being with the situation is rooted in the understanding that everything unfolds according to a higher plan or divine order. Unless your house is on fire 🔥…then take immediate action 🧑🏼‍🚒.

While writing this email, this quote by Tosha Silver came to my attention:

“Sometimes there’s so much to be learned from NOT having the answer yet. Sometimes, the universe will literally KEEP you in the dark. As you learn how to let go and trust that all true needs will be met, enormous growth happens for the soul.” ~Tosha Silver

In most situations, acknowledging what is happening without resistance to it – surrendering to the situation – fosters trust in oneself and the universe, nurturing inner peace regardless of external conditions. 

I’ve been in a place of personal reflection on a current life situation that has led me to contemplate this concept deeply. I feel a bit in the dark. Despite my initial inclination to take action to alleviate discomfort, to find an answer, the next step is unclear at the moment. 

So, I find myself in a state of allowing things to unfold naturally, without forcing any specific direction. I am being “with” it and allowing it to be with me. Sometimes this feels like sitting on my hands so I don’t do anything rash…surrender is a practice!!

And not an easy one when your go-to response has always been to do something about it. The urge to intervene and fix issues may be deeply ingrained due to cultural and familial influences. But in my experience, doing so often makes the situation worse or more complicated than it needs to be and takes up a lot of energy and time unnecessarily. 

Learning to step back and be present with the situation has opened up unforeseen possibilities for me. 

So today, I pose a simple question for you to consider. 

Are you “about” it or are you “with” it? Sometimes, the best course of action is to observe and allow the situation to unfold, rather than rushing to fix or control it. Surrendering to the present circumstances can lead to outcomes beyond imagination, ultimately guiding us towards our highest good. 

With love,

Whatever you may be struggling with, there’s beauty in wisdom in taking time to be with it before taking action. Want to know how? Let’s talk!

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