Love Letter #134: What it Means to Be Good

Yesterday, I wrote an emotional and heartfelt love letter to my mother on Mother’s Day. It resonated with many of you who wrote back to me saying you could have written such a letter, and thanking me. I thank you for sharing your heart. 

I wrote about the need to be ‘good’ as a girl and how that has impacted my life, up until now. It hasn’t been easy, yet I believe those early experiences are the very reason I’m here – to heal these old wounds for myself and those who came before and after me. 

So, I’m wondering what your experience has been around being ‘good’?

What it means to be good to me is to be quiet and compliant. Don’t argue or ‘talk back’ – in other words, don’t have an opinion of your own. Keep your emotions in check, and never, ever make another human uncomfortable. Don’t make waves. It meant keeping everything that made me, me inside of myself. 

I recently had an incredible insight around this that rocked me and my relationship. As difficult as it has been, I’m grateful to be having it and grateful to have a partner willing to navigate the hard stuff. It has changed me, and I expect it will continue to change me in ways I can’t yet imagine. 

I’m curious about you. What does it mean to you to be good? How that came to be? How does it show up in your life today? Do you find yourself striving for perfection as a result?

Because good or bad are simply perceptions of someone or something. 

Nothing is good or bad except for the thoughts we have about it, and those thoughts often come from others and don’t really belong to us. Some of us rebel against being good, and others of us, like me, learn to comply mostly out of fear. Yet, the things we’ve learned about who or what we should be are just thoughts, and while they may see true, they can be changed (thank goddess!!). 

My journey in healing perfectionism has led me to create The Art of Self-Approval™; a pathway to releasing old stories laced with perfectionism and creating new more empowering ones for yourself. Underpinning the need to be good is perfectionism, which I see as the ultimate scam. It’s like signing up for what appears to be a really cool rollercoaster only to find out it’s filled with stress and letdowns, and guess what? We’re all in line for it!

Instead, I’m learning to play with being fabulously flawed…and I’d love for you to play with me! To embrace your imperfections as the superpowers they are!!! Not being ‘good’ does not make you bad…it’s the ticket to free and creative self-expression. 

Maybe all that striving for perfection has you feeling like you’re not good enough to chase your dreams. Maybe you are waiting for permission. Well…here’s a permission slip…fill it out, sign it…permission granted!!

I know how scary it can be to break the mold of perfectionism and make it okay to want more for yourself. I’m in the thick of it once more in my life in a new and enlightening way. Moving beyond old limitations and living a purposeful life isn’t just what I help my clients do. It’s a personal commitment I’ve made to myself through soulful decision-making and deep self-approval.

If you’re looking to break out of the box of being good and embrace your fabulously flawed self…who, by the way, is amazing…it’s time we talk. 

With Love

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