Love Letter #111: Why You Need Courage to Be Confident

Often, the women I work with tell me they need more confidence. Confidence, and certainty. But the truth is confidence comes from having the courage to do the thing that scares you. And certainty doesn’t exist. Nothing is certain.

Sure, we make plans and schedules that give us the illusion of control over our lives, but we never know what will happen in each moment. And all that scheduling and planning can be like blinders on a racehorse. When we only see straight into our plan we often miss the magic happening to our left, or right, and elsewhere around us. 

Confidence, dear friend, comes from courage, and courage is like a muscle. It needs to be exercised to get stronger. The more we use it, the more confidence we generate in ourselves because confidence can only come from doing. 

Marianne Williamson refers to courage as the willingness to “endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose the dull pain of unconsciousness.” Courage is uncomfortable. Getting comfortable with discomfort is how we discover who we truly are. 

Remember learning to ride a bike as a kid? How unsteady you were in the beginning. Maybe you had trainers to help, but that bike still leaned from side to side and there was the initial sense you might fall. You probably did, too. We master things through courage, not confidence. Confidence is the result of being courageous. 

Courage, like all qualities, doesn’t come from someone else. It’s wonderful to have encouragement, and I am passionate about encouraging others to be authentic and follow their hearts. But no one gets courage from anyone else. No one can take the first step towards what excites you and scares you but you. 

I’m not just talking about the courage to climb mountains or jump out of planes. If that’s your thing – yeah you!

I’m talking everyday courage. 

The courage to get up and show up to life every day. 

The courage to ask for help.

The courage to say no.

The courage to grow and learn.

The courage to quit.

The courage to make mistakes.

The courage to leave.

The courage to choose joy, happiness, peace.

The courage to love.

The courage to trust. 

The courage to be alone.

The courage to be disliked.

The courage to disappoint.

The courage to be present. 

The courage to listen. 

The courage to be kind.

The courage to try something new. 

The courage to ask for what you want.

The courage to let go of what no longer serves you.

The courage to change your mind and your life. 

I’m confident you have exercised courage in many ways already. 

So, where else in your life are you courageous? 

Where in your life are you being asked to be courageous now? 

The more you exercise courage, the more confident you become. It’s a simple equation. Courage isn’t something you have to wait for. It’s here, now, waiting for you. 

And, courage begins with the willingness to believe you can. If you don’t believe you can…we should talk. 

With love,

Where would you like more courage in your life? What if you already have it…but need some help tapping into it? I can help you up your courage game in 30 minutes or less and you’ll have fun doing it. Book a call today…and experience the power of life coaching for yourself.

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