Yesterday, I took myself on a date and bought myself flowers. I visited Wicked Tulips in Exeter, RI, and came home with a bouquet of gorgeous tulips. I love spending time with the people I love, but dating myself is important. I started dating myself after my divorce when I discovered a book; “Succulent Wild Woman”, by Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy; lovingly known as SARK. 

A lot of life passes us by waiting for others, or permission, or approval. Sometimes others don’t want to do what I want to do. That’s completely okay. Often, I want to do things by myself, for myself. 

I adore that book, and wanted to share a few favorite quotes and why I love them. 

1.  “Marry yourself…promise never to leave you.”

This was a promise I made to myself after my divorce. To become my own significant other. This isn’t easy when the world believes you should be coupled. Nevertheless, that commitment to myself lets everyone else off the hook. I am no longer codependent, thinking others have to be a certain way to make me happy. I am completely responsible for my happiness. I am free to love myself and everyone else just as they are. 

2. “Women need space to be creative – creativity thrives in solitude.” 

Solitude is where I reconnect with myself. When I went to the tulip farm I went alone to feel the intense beauty of the color-soaked fields bursting with blooms. I had no desire to make conversation with anyone. There were many others there but I was completely and joyfully in the experience. 

3. “My body is precious and not separate from my soul.”

I know how hard it is to love your body in a culture that profits from our insecurities. We often dislike or even loathe parts of our bodies. Our size. Our shape. Our physical attributes. When I read this quote I am reminded that everything is holy. Every inch of me is divine. This body temple is the vehicle for my soul to experience physical life. I have come to honor and love it lusciously; all of it. When I am in front of the mirror ready to shower, I do a little dance and see the beauty I am. 

4. “I envision a world filled with women traveling alone and meeting each other on the path.” 

I love to travel and have had wonderful solo travel adventures here and abroad. Some of the best adventures have been in meeting other women. My favorites include a cooking class in Siena, Italy, dining with women from different countries; meeting other solo women traveling in RV’s, and sharing meals and stories. There are more adventures to be had. I hope to meet you on the path. 

Finally:

5. “The circles of women around us weave invisible nets of love that carry us when we’re weak, and sing with us when we are strong.”

I believe this to my core, yet so many women are caught in perfectionism which keeps us competing with each other. I want to show you what is already here. I see the beauty and magnificence of your wise and wonderful self; just as you are. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. No one is better than you, prettier than you, smarter than you…these are the insecurities of the world that have been planted into your psyche. We all have our God-given gifts. There is no need to compete. 

So when you feel the weight of the world or feel trapped in the overwhelm of life, I am here for you. To hold space. To carry you. To sing with you. And to hold up the mirror so you can see how amazing you are. 

With Love,

Be Seen, Heard & Celebrated…A Difficult Woman Collective.