Know What You’re Asking For!
This week on Facebook live and in this blog, I’m talking about setting intentions, as opposed to making resolutions. While it may not be obvious, there’s a big difference. Who knew? I didn’t, at least not until about 7 years ago. Before that, I’d resolve to get, find, or lose something in the new year. The problem is, resolutions are an outside in job. We’re seeking something outside of ourselves to fulfill us. Surprise! Life is an inside out job. And that’s where intention setting begins. Knowing what you want, who you want to be, and how you want to feel from the inside out. And, there’s something else about intention setting – know what you’re asking for.
When we resolve to do or get something, we are digging in, drawing a line in the sand; to make something happen. We strive to get a new job, find a partner, or lose 20 lb. All of these things are well and good and could well be the end result of our intentions. However, we don’t make anything happen, we make it welcome. That work begins on the inside with clarity about why you want these things and what it feels like to have them.
Live less out of habit and more from intent
Let’s imagine you want a new job. Imagine yourself in this job, know how it feels, and know that the feeling is what you truly desire. You can apply this practice to losing weight, finding a partner, and anything else you desire. Your real desire is the feeling state, the state of being, and that desired feeling becomes your guide on the path to creating what you want. And, knowing what you’re asking for is important. Here’s why.
If you’ve been setting intentions for some time, you’ll most likely know what I’m talking about. But if you’re new to the idea of setting intentions, you may find this helpful. Setting intentions is not about getting anything. Whatever it is you desire to be, do, or have, already exists within you. Intention setting is about stretching and growing into more of that which you already are. It’s a lot like going to the gym or any regular exercise. You don’t get muscles by going to the gym, you already have all the muscles your body needs. The exercise strengthens what you already have. Similarly, intentions strengthen what and who you already are.
This is the gym for your soul.
Whatever your intention – more love, joy, peace, balance, prosperity, confidence, compassion, kindness, abundance, etc. – it all exists within you already. Right now. Your intentions focus your energy on a specific desired feeling, or the muscle you want to strengthen. Suppose your intention is to become more confident. The universe will present you with opportunities to stretch and strengthen your confidence muscle. This is what I mean when I say, know what you are asking for.
I know. Some of you are thinking, “be careful what you wish for”, and may find the idea of setting intentions a bit distressing. Good. There was a time I wasn’t ready for this either. Still, I invite you to keep reading. Setting intentions has nothing to do with wishing. As with building any muscle, it doesn’t get stronger until you put some weight on it and begin flexing and stretching.
Setting clear intentions is where real growth and expansion happen in our lives. Putting weight on your intention is an exercise in expanding consciousness and becoming who you know, deep down, you truly are. This is why you’re here. To live into the truth of who we are, and become the greatest version of yourself. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes practice, and the willingness to become, to lean into your desires and intentions, one choice at a time.
Intentions are about learning to trust your inner guidance.
When you know how you want to feel, those feelings become your guiding star. You can begin making choices that align with your desired feeling. You begin living into this greater version of yourself, the person you know you are meant to become. And, you know. You may have been taught not to think too much of yourself. I think we don’t think enough of ourselves. If we all realized how powerful we are, we’d not be looking outside of ourselves to feel alive, accepted, or loved. We would know, without a doubt, that we are already all this and more.
Know what you’re asking for as you set your intentions. Just like exercising your muscles, you might feel a bit sore in the beginning. Events may come into your experience that stretch you and don’t feel like what you’ve intended. That’s OK, I get it. One of my intentions over the last few years is to feel freedom and ease in my life. To be who I am, do what I want, with whomever I want and whenever I want. Did I know what I was asking for? Not at first.
When I asked Merriam Webster for the definition of freedom, here’s what resonated with me; absence of constraint in choice, release from something onerous, the quality to be open or outspoken. When I think of freedom I think of breaking away from something. That’s exactly what I’ve experience. This intention became an exercise in letting go of everything that was getting in the way of me feeling free. Some of it was joyful, some of it painful, and all of it beautiful and messy and perfect.
At first it felt like anything but freedom
In the beginning, when these opportunities to let go started showing up it felt like anything but freedom. It forced me to find my voice, to become more outspoken, to set boundaries, and to let go of jobs, things, ideas, beliefs, and even people. I know…it sounds so…selfish (giggle!). I’ve done a shit ton of letting go in the last few years, including letting go of old stories around the very idea of selfishness.
I’ve learned to let it all go with love, and love myself in the process. And now, I welcome the opportunity to stretch my freedom muscle, even if it still hits me upside the head sometimes. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You get to choose what you’d like to change. Just know what you’re asking for. Freedom and ease continue to be among my intentions, so I expect lots more letting go.
Your intentions are your own
They may not make sense to anyone else, and they don’t have to. They only need matter to you. No one else is you. No one else is living your life. Know that you don’t have to do all of this alone. Find a coach, a mastermind group, a small group of likeminded friends, a spiritual community. What you desire is here, all around you, waiting for you to step into it.
Ready to set your intentions for a new day, week, or the upcoming year? I’m here to support you and I’d love to help.
From my heart to yours,
Upcoming Workshops & Programs
Workshop: 3 Secrets to a Kickass Life ™ – empowering women to live into their dreams. 1/13/19
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