Most mornings, I read from 365 Days of Richer Living by Ernest Holmes and Raymond Charles Barker. It’s a daily inspirational. Today’s reading begins with this line, “I DECIDE to grow in wisdom and understanding.” I read it, and read it again. I DECIDE. I am the decider of my own life. I decide how I color my life through the choices I make. So do you.

I decide to give up half-truths and whole lies

Years ago, shortly after my divorce, there was a man I dated very briefly. It happened to be his birthday during that time and I planned a day out to celebrate and have some fun. It was a sunny spring day, and I thought mini golf and lunch at a favorite hangout would be a lighthearted way to spend the day. He agreed.

It didn’t go so well. 

So it seemed in the moment. He made some snooty comment about this date that didn’t sit well with me. Later, as we were talking, he said, in a rather sarcastic tone, “I know, it’s all about you”. Say what? I was a little ticked off about this at first. I could feel old emotions rising up, old stories around being good, what it means to be selfish and some shame around the idea of putting me first. Old feelings of ‘needing’ to be liked and accepted added to the mix. All of it bulls$^t, and still very much a part of who I’d been, up until this point.

Then the game changed. 

As I sat with these feelings, a little light went on inside. I realized he was absolutely right. At that moment in time it was all about me!! I wanted it to be all about me. Up until that point I’d tried to be everything for everyone. It was exhausting and I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. It was time for me to be there for me and I was becoming more and more comfortable with this idea. I was watching an old pattern dissolve and it felt pretty dang good. I told him he was right, thanked him, and never saw him again. I spent the next few years of my life happily single, rediscovering who I’d been and who I was becoming.

What seemed like a date gone bad was actually an extraordinary gift – an everyday miracle. Life is always giving us exactly what we need. We get to decide whether to accept the gift or not and how we’ll respond to it. I am the decider of my life. I decide. I get to consciously choose me; choose what I want and what I don’t want in my life no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

I decide who I am and how I show up to life.

To grow in wisdom and understanding of my own values, desires, and what matters most to me in life. To reunite with the spiritual nature of myself, of the love and light that I am. It’s my birthright to decide how I live and love as only I can. If I don’t have unconditional love for me, how can I give that to others?

Life is a mirror.

We meet ourselves in everyone and everything. I’d grown enough in wisdom that I was able to see myself in the reflection of his comments. The more I pay attention to life’s reflections, the more I grow in wisdom and understanding of myself, and I expand in love, compassion, and acceptance of myself, others, and life as it unfolds.  

I decide.

I get to decide how I greet each day and how I respond to each moment. I choose to have faith in myself and the divine inner wisdom within me (and it’s in each and every one of us). I decide whether or not I accept the gift in each experience, in each moment of this incredible life I get to live. My life is as I choose. I decide. So do you.

From my heart to yours,

Prioritize yourself and experience the Pleasure of Provence, Oct. 12-19, 2019.

Photo by Herbert Goetsch on Unsplash

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]