You might not know that I help women in midlife break the rules they have been trained to follow and come back to themselves so they can boldly create this second half of life and make their dreams a reality.
I find that most women reach the ‘messy middle’ of life and feel stuck, trapped, or uninspired in the life they have created for themselves. They’re questioning who they are and what they want and are afraid to give themselves permission to break the rules and love themselves fiercely. I know first hand it isn’t easy to do this in a world that wants you to be small and compliant – but I promise you it’s possible if you’re willing to break the rules.
A ‘rule’ is a belief. It is something you learned early in life that is still running your life today and you probably aren’t even aware of it. Or, if you are aware at some level, you keep trying to change it but nothing seems to stick. I can help you do this in a supportive and empowering way.
Rules keep us constrained, tolerating things in life that we don’t want. They keep us in small boxes, people-pleasing, in martyrdom, and seeking approval, and those rules have us putting ourselves last and our dreams on hold. The rules keep us being ‘nice’ and ‘good’ and being everything for everyone else while not being who we want for ourselves. We are mostly unaware they are running (and perhaps ruining) our lives.
How can you know what your rules are? Start by completing these statements for yourself.
I have to do _________________ so that I can be ________________.
I must be ___________________ in order to ____________________.
I need ______________________ so that I can be/do/have __________________.
I should ____________________ in order to _______________________.
I can’t ______________________ because____________________________.
One of the rules I learned early in life is this: I have to be responsible in order to avoid being punished (or judged). I am the eldest of 5 siblings and had to ‘watch’ my brothers and sisters and be a good example. The need to be responsible has served me well in some ways and it also manifested as codependency, focused on what everyone else ‘should’ be doing which really became an excuse to distract myself from doing what I really want to do and was afraid to do. I still regularly and intentionally give myself permission to lighten up and let go – I’m a work in progress too.
Once you’re aware of a ‘rule’ then you can decide if you want to keep it, change it, or toss it all together.
My responsibility now is first and foremost to me. I am response-able to myself and for myself. And, I can be kind, supportive, and respectful to others while staying in integrity with me. These things are not mutually exclusive.
Looking at those statements with genuine curiosity, you can begin to uncover the ‘rules’ you hold for yourself and your life. We all have them. Rules about money, love, time, food, our bodies, success, work, relationships, and everything in between. This is not so you can judge yourself or criticize yourself (you probably do that way too much already). This is a practice in self-awareness, self-understanding, and acceptance so that you can intentionally create new rules the support you living your best life – right now!
I stand for women giving themselves permission to be who they are here to be; to break the rules that hold them back and fiercely stand for themselves, their dreams, and living into the fullness of who they are meant to be.
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re half living your life and you’re ready to break the rules that bind you, set yourself free from the need to please, and start pleasing yourself…unapologetically…I stand with you.
Take a stand for yourself – Schedule a free mini-session today. Let’s explore the possibilities together.