Lately, as I coach more and more women, I hear so much self-judgment. It’s unwitting and unintentional and we all do it to some degree. Old conditioning, old beliefs and stories about what we should or shouldn’t be or do. I’ve been there. I learned to be kind to everyone, including strangers, but no one ever told me to be kind to me. Isn’t that being selfish? Self-centered? I’m asking for a friend.

We are usually harder on ourselves than anyone else would ever think to be. As I listened to one client this week, I asked her if her best friend were in her situation, what would she tell her? She had no trouble at all coming up with kind and gentle words ‘for a friend’. Imagine how much sweeter life would be if we simply became our own best friend?

Becoming your own best friend is a secret to kickass living

It happens all the time with clients. Most often with women. Many of us have lots of unlearning to do, BS to let go of and this takes commitment and practice. One of the simplest ways to begin is to simply be kind to yourself. Declare that today and every day is ‘be kind to you day’. Be kind to yourself in moments when you’re feeling self-critical, when you’re feeling angry with yourself, and every other moment of the day. Every. Single. Day.

When you need a friend, be a friend.

This is not only about bringing friends into your life, it’s also about befriending yourself. So, I invite you to give this a try. Get out your journal and a pen. Better yet, get out some sticky notes so you can leave this all over your house, your office, and your car. Anywhere you can use a reminder.

This is a simple self-love practice.

At the top of your page or sticky note write this statement: Today is be kind to [your name] day!

Give yourself time to reflect on where and how you are most self-critical and then create affirmations that are self-loving and accepting.

Something like this…

• Today, I replace self-judgement with self-compassion
• I will do at least one kind thing for myself today
• I accept myself just as I am

You’ll know what to write as you look at your existing patterns of self-judgement. Put these affirmations everywhere and check in with yourself during the day and simply notice what you’re thinking and feeling.

When you notice yourself being self-critical or hard on yourself refer to the first thing you wrote – Today is be kind to me day!

You are a one of a kind, a brilliant ray of sunshine…keep shining and be kind to you.

From my heart to yours,