This week I did a couple of Facebook live’s and invited members of Awakening Women Worldwide to take a 2 day self-love challenge. I want to share it with all of you in this week’s journal. All you need is self-love. Are you up for the challenge?

I’m a big fan of Louise Hay’s work. In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, she says that when she works with a client, no matter their problem, she works on self-love with them. Learning to love ourselves is the answer to having a life we love. Self-love is the key to resilience, joy, compassion, confidence, happiness, and harmonious relationships.

So often, when I’m in conversations with women, the conversation turns to something disempowering. As an example, hair is a frequently discussed topic and not necessarily in a good way. Here’s how it often plays out.

Person 1: You have great hair. I hate my hair is just too curly. I can’t get it to do anything!
Person 2: Thanks. I think you hair is great. I wish my hair had all that curl, it just so straight.
Person 3: Don’t get me started, my hair is so thin, the two of you could never imagine how horrible it is.
Person 4…we’ll call her Gladys, is pouring lots of wine because…we’re all hopeless!

By now, you get the picture. This may seem totally silly, and I suspect familiar at the same time. We do it with our bodies, our personality traits, and oh how we get into it with food. We’re guilty for eating this, or being ‘good’ by not eating that. Are you tired of these unhelpful conversations?

“In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.” Carolyn Caldwell, Artist

All of these expectations to be or look a certain way are socially constructed. They’re made up. We’re conditioned to see ourselves as not enough of something or too much of something else. That we all need to be ‘fixed”. We are inundated with these messages and it’s no wonder we believe them or at the very least question our worth. None of this is real and we can shift the paradigm as we learn to love and accept ourselves – completely.

I imagine new and more empowering conversations among women. Conversations that are bold, brave and self-loving. This is not about arrogance or self-centeredness. It’s about having interactions with boundaries where we don’t tear anyone down, including ourselves and we gently, lovingly shift the paradigm for other women who may not yet be in that place. I imagine a world where all women uplift each other because they have learned to love and uplift themselves. The power of self-love exists in each of us. We have everything we need to make this change, if we choose.

Here is my challenge. You can do this in 2 days, 2 weeks, or never. It’s all up to you and whatever you decide is perfect.

Imagine if we obsessed about the things we love about ourselves?

Challenge Part 1:

• Take a few minutes and write a love letter to a part of you – your body, personality, life – that you really love. Pour it on. Don’t hold back. Feel the joy in expressing that. Love yourself up.
• You might experience some resistance. This is good! Stick with it and get curious. When you hear yourself say things like, “I can’t write that…or I can’t do or say that”, ask yourself, why not? This letter is for you and only you!
• How was the experience for you? Easy? Hard? What came up? Did you get stuck? Did you get curious?

Challenge Part 2: You may find this a bit more difficult…I hope you’ll play along.

• Take a few minutes today to write another love letter. Choose a part of you (body, personality, life) that you dislike…or even hate. Start small. Be honest…write from your heart. This isn’t about making stuff up that sounds good. It’s about healing your relationship with the thing you dislike and ultimately healing your relationship with yourself.
• Write a love letter to this part of you. What can you appreciate about this part of you? How has it served you? You may feel inclined to offer for-giving-ness for how you’ve treated this part of you up until now. Go ahead…this too is part of the healing process.

I’m pretty sure you’ll meet with some resistance here. Some of the ways it may come up are…

• Inertia – just sitting there doing nothin
• Fear – what I call the inner lizard – you’ll hear yourself saying things like, “I can’t. This is hard, etc.
• Indecisiveness – the moment you hear yourself say, “I should…or shouldn’t…fill in the blank”
• Avoidance – this sounds like something I want to do as soon as I…mow the grass, weed the garden, clean the toilet, organize the garage, and so on.
• Justification – this sounds like I’m not ready to do this because…you fill in the blank.

• The antidote to all of these is curiosity about the underlying thoughts that bring about the feeling. Be the observer of the stories and beliefs and you just may find they no longer make sense.

Give it a try. Be gentle with yourself.

If this practice feels big, start small. Say…your big toe. Maybe you think it’s too big (haha!). What if you start with appreciating how it balances you when you stand and walk? Perhaps you love the beach and you can imagine how great it feels to dig those toes into the sand. We know the benefits of appreciation and gratitude are endless. I’ll bet it rare that you actually make time to practice appreciation and gratitude for something about you.

As your moving through this exercise consider these thoughts from Byron Katie: “Uncomfortable emotions happen to remind us there is a thought available for questioning.The discomfort is a call to set yourself free.” So, breathe. Notice the thought behind the resistance and then get curious. Be lighthearted with your inquiry. Don’t ask why is this happening to me or what’s wrong with me…nothing is wrong with you and everything in life happens for you.

Lighten up. Be playful with what you discover. Ask empowering questions. Is this true? What if I choose not to think or believe this any longer? What’s a better feeling thought? Which brings me back to another Louise nugget. It’s just a thought and a thought can be changed. All we need is a willingness to change.

The beauty of this practice is you can do it again and again, over time, with more and more of yourself. Embracing what you love and integrating the things you’ve disconnected from. Self-love is how you take back your power…with your own loving attention. We can’t give what we don’t have. When we fill our own inner well with love, we can give from the overflow.

I’d love to know what you discovered about yourself in this process. What came up for you? What surprised you? You can post your comments in the live replays in the Facebook Group – Awakening Women Worldwide. Not a member? Not a problem. Go to the link and request access. I’d love to see you there!

Peace, blessings, and a whole lot of love,

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash