Tomorrow I kick off a program aimed at self-love, L.O.V.E. Essentials. Because? Love is the answer to everything and self-love matters. I know. You, like me, were probably taught that loving yourself is selfish, self-centered, and it’s more noble or virtuous to be focused on others. I believe we’re here to love, help, serve others, and to build bridges for one another. Often though, we do these things as a way to get approval, to be accepted, to feel loved. I certainly have. I’ve come to know that I serve best, help best, love and build bridges best when I am in a place of loving, approving of, and accepting myself – warts and all. Why?

You can’t give what you don’t have.

I’m repeating myself, I know. But, this sounds so simple yet we often deplete ourselves to ‘make someone else happy’. I’ve done this countless times and I’ll bet you have too. I’m sure you’ve heard it said you can’t pour from an empty cup. The only way I can be loving and accepting of others if I am first loving and accepting of myself. The only way I can share happiness with others is if I am truly happy with myself. The most loving thing I can do for myself is fill my own cup first. It’s the equivalent of securing your own oxygen mask before assisting others. I’ve come to know when I am doing something from a full heart rather than my people-pleasing-ego-self. I know it by the way I feel. If something feels heavy or uncomfortable I know my heart isn’t in it.

You are the authority on, of, and about you.

Despite what I may have learned early in life, my voice matters and I am the only person who truly knows what is right for me. Period. No need to justify or explain. I’ve been the co-dependent thinking I know what’s best for everyone else , trying to take control of everyone’s life, and it is exhausting (and impossible). Unlearning is a process, and with it there is a lot of letting go.

The letting go can be painful yet there is tremendous freedom in knowing what I want for me, how I want to show up in the world, and staying in my lane. I’ve been the person to say yes when I mean no out of fear. Fear that I wouldn’t be liked, or accepted, or just plain wrong. It might have made the other person feel good (maybe – this is my perception), but I didn’t feel good about myself. I am learning to lovingly and respectfully decline. No explanation needed. My why is only important to me.

Expressing your desires is the fire of your soul.

Your dreams, desires, imaginings about your life, who you are and what you want to be are not happenstance. They are divine assignments calling from the depth of your soul to be expressed. Yes. I know. More selfishness. More listening to what I want rather than what others want. I’ve come to see this as necessary to thriving in the world. You are a soul in a body, not the other way around. Expressing who you are is a courageous, self-loving act of honoring your soul. Your desires and dreams require focus and commitment. They ask you to be selective about where your energy, time, and attention go. It isn’t selfish to live out your divine assignments. The world needs your gifts. It’s rather selfish not to show them the light of day.

Imagine how your life could change for the better when you choose the freedom to be fully and authentically you? It is a choice and it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice, time, and it takes kindness and compassion for yourself. We’re all on a journey of unfolding, of awakening. If you’re reading this, I suspect you are consciously seeking changes in your life. In that case, you’re in the right place and you’ll want to join me to love yourself silly – there’s time to sign up today!

At the very least, my intention today and always, is to give you food for thought, for self-reflection and for living your best life.

What are you willing to discover about yourself?

From my heart to yours,

Take your self-love practices to greater heights! Join me in Tuscany in October to Nurture Your Inner Goddess!

Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash