As we roll into Thanksgiving this week, I’ve been reflecting on all I have to be grateful for. I’m in gratitude for the things I think of as good and those that, at the time, seemed bad. I often tell clients that everything that happens in life is neutral. It’s the meaning we apply to it that makes it good or bad, or something else. For me, the most difficult experiences, divorce, loss of all kinds – jobs, loved ones, relationships – are where I’ve experienced the most personal and spiritual growth. In these experiences I’ve become more aware of my own limiting beliefs, and opened up to far greater compassion and love for myself and others. The more I open and allow life to flow through me exactly as it is, the more easily it does and in that I find a sense of prefect balance.

I was listening to someone on Facebook the other day talking about finding perfect balance. I think most of us think that, 1) perfect balance isn’t achievable in our hectic, stressful, ‘crazy busy’ lives, and 2) perfect balance means that everything is always going according to what we have planned; that life conforms to how we think ‘it should be.’ As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, your right.” Indeed these ideas about perfect balance are true for you if that’s what you choose to believe. It doesn’t have to be that way.

You are life happening. Period.

Your outer life, your experiences, are a direct reflection of your internal beliefs and thoughts. Stop for a moment and notice what’s happening within and around you in this moment. What are you experiencing? What are your thoughts about it? It may not be pleasant or fun, it may not be what you expected, regardless you’re the creator of it. Our thoughts and beliefs are like hands molding the clay of our life. As I become aware of this I realize I can be at peace with what I don’t like; and it’s OK not to like it. I have the power to change it.

Most of us are waiting for outward conditions to change for us to  experience balance or a sense of peace, centeredness, calm into our lives. In truth, we’ll experience the conditions we desire once we welcome and allow the desired feelings to flow from within. Perfect balance is a matter of choice. It isn’t something we find or something that is waiting for us to get to. If we truly want balance in our lives, we must become it and make it welcome.

Think about how often you are affirming what you don’t want.

In invite you to think about how often you think about and talk about your stressful life or focus your attention on what you don’t want. I often think we live in a society where it’s not acceptable to be anything but stressed and busy, and that becomes our programmed response. Even though it doesn’t feel good, we accept it as the way life is. Consider each time you do this the Universe corresponds to your thought. Essentially you are asking for more of what you don’t want. What would you like your life to feel like? How might you begin to express this instead?

Why am I thinking about perfect balance at Thanksgiving. Because, gratitude is the secret sauce. Gratitude for everything that has transpired in my life, no matter whether I liked it at the time or not. It was a necessary part of becoming the me I am today. I rather like her. I’m grateful for this awareness, for the commitment I’ve made to perfect balance, and the knowing that everything is unfolding for my good. When gratitude becomes a habit, every day is Thanksgiving. You bet I’ll have an extra helping of that!

Does that mean life is perfect? I suppose that depends on your idea of perfect. I believe my life is a perfect as I believe it to be in each moment. What do you think?

From my heart to yours,

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Photo by Bekir Dönmez on Unsplash