I realize that the idea that I don’t like making phone calls may seem silly. And, if one of my clients said this to me, I’d perk right up and ask, “Is that true? Do you really dislike to making phone calls?” Still, this week I found myself avoiding making a couple of phone calls and this isn’t the first time. The reasons aren’t important here, but the belief I’m holding onto is. Talking to people is a significant part of both of my businesses and I talk on the phone – a lot! I love connecting with people so the idea that I dislike making calls isn’t really true. Still, there are some underlying thoughts that I get stuck on from time to time. I’m ready to release them.

As I reflected on this idea, a lot of old images came to mind. When I was very young, under age 6, way back before the days of privacy concerns, we had a party line – two or more households shared the same phone circuits. There was always the possibility that you would be interrupting someone else’s call when you picked up or them cutting in on yours. Perhaps this is why I often wonder if I’m bothering someone when I make a call? Regardless, we all have the choice to answer a call or not, and voicemail is a wonderful tool.

As I got a little older and began collecting friends, the phone became a way to connect. In my family it was seen as a luxury, something to be used only out of necessity. The phone was off limits for just chatting with someone. When I was allowed to call I had to keep it short – very short. There were all kinds of conditions for making a long distance call. It had to be on the weekend, between certain hours to get the best rate which was like $3 for a 5 minute call. Could this be why I hesitate to just call? Maybe.

While liking or not liking to make phone calls may seem like a small thing, my point is our old beliefs, practiced over time, become habits. Habits, we know, are things we continue to do without ever giving it a though. We even come to identify ourselves with the habit – I am a nail biter, I’m a smoker, I’m a procrastinator, I’m a person who dislikes making phone calls, and so forth. The more we associate who we are with a belief, the more it becomes true for us.

Which brings me here. To redefining what I want my relationship with making phone calls to be. To setting a new perspective about making phone calls – from a place of intention rather than habit. I want making phone calls to feel light, easy, comfortable and fun. I am choosing to be grateful for the technology I have, to make full use of it, and to enjoy each interaction. To know that each person I call has the ability to choose to answer or not – I am not bothering anyone. That the phone is an avenue for me to offer my light, offer my gifts and services to others, and be joyfully connected to people I care about. It is one way for me to check in, catch up, say hello, and I’m thinking of you.

My invitation to you is this. When you’re feeling like you dislike doing something or notice you are defining yourself by a belief, make it your invitation to look beneath the surface. To get curious about where the belief comes from, and while it may have been true when you learned it, is it true now? Look at this thing you’re avoiding and ask yourself what you’d like to think and feel about it and then…get about the business of changing it. Discomfort is an invitation for growth. Don’t pass up the opportunity to expand your awareness and change your life.

From my heart to yours

Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash