Some of you reading will recognize the title of this journal entry as words from a Joni Mitchell song, Both Sides Now. I really don’t know clouds at all. I love clouds. Watching them pass by I look for what I can see in them, and I love the intensity of thunderstorm clouds towering in the sky. Here in New England we sometimes experience clouds for days or weeks at a time. When we do I long for the sun. When I’m in the desert of California with my brother-in-law, where it’s almost always sunny, it’s quite the opposite. He often longs to see clouds. Clouds are what they are to each of us and what we think of them isn’t right or wrong, good or bad, it just is.

Such is life. We see and hear things, have experiences and form our opinions about whether something is good or bad, or right or wrong. This is a natural response of our rational mind that wants to make sense out of everything in a way that feels safe. In recognizing that I really don’t know clouds at all, I am reminded what I know about life is limited to my own experiences.

“Become the change you wish to see in the world.” ~Ghandi

I believe we all want a more peaceful, compassionate, and loving experience of life and the world. We don’t attract what we want, we attract what we are. Meaning, we need to become the change before we see the change. When we’re attached to what we think and believe, we close ourselves off from other perspectives and experiences. And, you can’t have a closed mind and an open heart.

Thought inquiry, The Work of Byron Katie, has become a big part of my awakening in life. I do it with my clients, and I practice it regularly in my own life. I’ve reached a point in my life where I am ready to welcome a new relationship. For a while after my divorce, I wanted to blame my ex-husband for the failure of our marriage and chose to believe he wasn’t a good partner. I was choosing to be the victim, not of his behavior, but of my own thoughts. Inquiry work, looking at this cloud from both sides, led me to see all the ways in which I wasn’t a good partner. And, this is important to my becoming a better person and partner going forward in life.

“Thoughts are not the problem, believing them is.” ~Byron Katie

As you go through your day and maybe your week, I invite you to notice where you have strong reactions to people and things. It might be a personal interaction with someone or something you see or hear in the news. Notice your reaction and how you feel without judging it as good-bad, right-wrong. Then ask yourself if that thought is true. While it may seem true for you in the moment, what do you really know about this situation beyond what you see or hear? It’s OK to continue to think it’s true. This is your perspective. But, what if you let go of this thought just for a moment? How might you see differently? Might there be another thought that is just as true?

My brother-in-law and I may never agree on how we see clouds. What we do agree on is that we see differently and respect that difference. Be curious, be gentle with yourself, and be playful with this practice. Change happens from the inside out, not the other way around. You have the power to change your thinking and change your life. Imagine that?!

Oh, and one more thing. As I inquire into my own thinking and let go of beliefs, I’ve learned to forgive and be more compassionate with myself and others…but, that’s a topic for another day.

From my heart to yours,

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