I was leaving the restroom in a public building recently and crossed paths with another woman. As she came through the door and saw me she said, “I’m sorry.” It happens all the time. It happens as automatically as blinking – we don’t even think about it, and we don’t think about what it means. Up until now I did it. A lot. I get it. Girls are taught to be nice. Yet, I’m not quite sure how being nice morphed into our being sorry for expressing ourselves and our ideas, for asking for help, for presence of being. And, quite frankly, I’ve had enough of it. A couple things about being sorry.

Not so long ago, I started asking myself, “what, exactly, am I sorry for?” I really don’t know. The words just tumble out and it’s so commonplace that I anticipate it from other women. The response is so ingrained they are out of my mouth in a split second before I even think about it. They lack any real substance yet feel like a necessary part of life, a way to ensure smooth passage, to avoid conflict, to clear safe space for my entry into the room, the conversation, the world. The phrase provides a soft landing for my thoughts, my words, my asks, so others will like me, or I won’t come off as assertive, or aggressive, or heaven forbid ‘not nice’. This has nothing to do with apologizing when we’ve wronged someone. It’s a form of asking permission to be seen and heard by way of being sorry; it’s giving away my power.

We also deny the truth of who we are; individual expressions of the One, the divine (God, source, spirit…insert your preference here). Sorry is the equivalent of pitiful, poor, wretched (dictionary.com). And my I AM is the expression of my divinity. It’s up to me to take care what I attach to it. God is only goodness, never pitiful, poor, or wretched. Neither am I, nor are you. We are not sorry.

It takes time to let go of our attachment to old habits and conscious effort to create new ones. It takes a good deal of awareness to make the change and I still catch myself doing this now and again. Yet, I’m committed to embracing who I am unapologetically…and I’m not sorry about that.

So, I am inviting all of you Wild Women in my tribe and beyond to do the same. Let the unlearning begin! Let’s drop this business of being sorry and instead be reminded of the magnificence of who we are and step into our power.

Peace