We all have it. Our own BS. The things we tell ourselves over and over again that shape our life’s experience and our world view.  Belief systems, or BS, are all those things we learned and internalized at one time or another in life. They feel like the truth and we’ve come to adopt them as such. At one time we needed them. I remember, as a young girl, learning to hold my tongue, a lot. My thoughts, ideas and opinions were not often welcome. Once I recall being asked my opinion and then being shamed for it. It wasn’t pleasant. I learned to express what felt safe and keep the rest to myself. It served me well. Then. Not so much anymore. Listen. Is that your BS talking?

I caught myself in my own BS this morning.

I was looking through my closet for a summer dress to wear and came across a beautiful dress I bought several summers ago. I’ve worn it twice. Why only twice? My own BS.

I was browsing the shops in Newport with a friend when I spotted this dress. Flowers always call to me and the colors brought me such joy. It was expensive and I tried it on anyway. It fit perfectly and felt beautiful. I justified buying it because I had an upcoming party to go to. This in itself is BS. Anyway, I pulled it out of the closet this morning and tried it on and it still fits perfectly. Why am I not wearing this dress?

My BS is talking…

1. I should keep it for…what? This is total BS. The word ‘should’ in itself is an indicator that it’s BS. I value each day and I’m a big proponent of seeing every day as special, as a gift, and an adventure. Wearing this dress brings me joy – so why not wear it when I feel like it. I know this is BS held over from childhood when we only wore our best on Sunday. That there needs to be a ‘reason’ to wear something this beautiful. I realized that wanting to wear it on a warm late summer Thursday in September is all the reason I need.
2. It’s too pretty for every day wear. Well, this is like saying I’m not worthy of wearing something this lovely unless it’s for someone else’s benefit (like a party). Or perhaps I’m not worthy of having something this lovely at all and wearing it is a form of ‘showing off.”  There are some underlying beliefs about money, scarcity, and lack going on here. That somehow there needs to be an occasion deserving of this dress for me to wear it. All BS of course.
3. And, let’s go back to my justification for buying it. It was only because I had someplace special to wear it that I gave myself permission to buy it. I needed a reason that made sense to other people?! This beautiful garment has been hanging in the back of my closet unworn because of what other people might think. This is total BS (of the other kind)!!

I know…this sounds really loaded. It is just a dress. Right?

Yes and no. That’s the things about our BS – it can be loaded in something as simple as deciding what to wear. Our BS is the reason we don’t do the things we desire. We deny our joy, happiness, love, peace, harmony, and so on because we have a full box of BS that we carry around with us. We think we can’t have those things. Truth is, you not only have all those things right now, you are all those things. They are the truth of your very being, and mine.

When we get clear on our BS we open the door to more of what we want and who we truly are. When we continually remind ourselves that life is hard, or some version of that (we can’t, should, shouldn’t, have to, etc.), we close the door to the possibility that it could be otherwise and fail to see our own unlimited potential.

Here is my invitation to you today. Listen. Listen to what you’re telling yourself day in and day out. Your thoughts. Your words. Listen to what you’re telling yourself right now, as you read this. Perhaps you think this blog, my dress insights are BS. Fantastic! Now, ask yourself what makes you think that?

Listen. Is what you’re thinking aligned with what you want, with joy, with inner peace, with harmony? Or not? If not, what are some new, more positive phrases you can replace them with? What am I thinking about this dress now? How lovely it looks and feels on me and that I am worthy of wearing it when and where I choose. Period.

Listen closely. Is that your BS talking?

From my heart to yours

There’s still time! Nurture Your Inner Goddess

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash