Love Letter #147: Goodbyes & Growth
Today was the last day of pet-sitting at my former home. The water heater busted and there was some water cleanup to do after the plumber set everything straight. Even then, it was wonderful to have the place to myself for the week, and Gracie got on great with her dog, Zoe.
But when I woke up this morning, I could feel a deep sadness inside of me. Part of that was saying goodbye to this old friend again, but I quickly realized it was more than that.
As I sat and let myself feel this ache in my bones, it felt like a deeper more long-held kind of sadness. I think the house was simply a vehicle for getting in touch with it.
There was a time I would have ignored it, thought myself silly for feeling this way, or busied myself so as not to feel it. But, thankfully, I’m much wiser about my own bullshit these days. I know better than to bury it deeper. I also know I don’t need to figure out where it comes from or what it’s about because allowing myself to feel it creates the space for me to know what I need to know. In other words, if there is something that needs to surface it will. Trying to figure it out is me trying to control it…and I’m over that.
Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves to feel without judgment or analysis. It’s okay not to have all the answers or to know the reason behind emotions. In those moment of stillness, when we let ourselves be, we often find the clarity and peace we seek.
The old house, with its familiar creaks and comforting nooks, had served as a mirror for my inner reflections. It has gently nudged me to confront the deeper layers of my being, urging me to acknowledge and accept whatever emotions arose.
So, as I bid farewell to the place that had held space for my introspection, I realized that sometimes, the most profound moments of growth come from simply being present with our feelings, without the need to dissect or control them.
I walked out the door, feeling lighter, knowing that I allowed myself to honor the depth of my emotions, and in doing so embrace a deeper sense of self-acceptance.